Friday, November 1, 2013

Real & Surreal- It's How I Feel

It's not often that I feel this way.   I seem so full of emotion today.   I'm not one to like just jump for joy, or express my emotions with loud yells or screams, or hyperactivity.  But still-  it's there.   Sometimes I feel quite full of emotion- usually good ones.  Even though my feelings ebb and flow a lot, yet I seem to maintain a fairly balanced temperament and lifestyle.   I have finally been able to accept the fact that I am a somewhat melancholy person- one upside to this is that it seems to parlay into a creative side of me that I've never regretted.   Sometimes I just seem to lag and feel as if nothing will work out, and can get quite unmotivated, but those things seem to fade or pass after awhile.  

In The Heavenlies
   I often wonder just what it is that controls or influences our mental and emotional selves.  There's bound to be a "scientific" answer to that- I'm just not really looking for one.  I'm just curious, but I don't HAVE to have an answer.  I just know that we are pretty complex, marvellous creatures.  I'm glad to be alive, and have the capacity to be, and think, and love, and feel.  It's pretty awesome, when you stop to think about it.   And the guy in the TV commercial [Pepcid, I think it is] says, "It makes plenty of sense-- if you don't think about it."  HA!   I'm glad that most things DO make sense, but ALL of them don't HAVE to.  I can live with questions still unanswered. 

Me on a Recent Hike
    I feel an inner desire to start exploring again.  I want to meet as many new people as I can, while also hoping to reestablish old relationships with dear friends of the past.   I want to start walking again- not the round-the-block kind of walking, but the taking-off and not-caring-where-I'm-going kind of walking, the kind that leads me to meander and make unexpected twists and turns, the kind that is open-minded, the kind that I would take when I do not have any time that I have to be anywhere, or anything that I have to do.  I hope to have one of those three or four-hour walks again soon.  They are always so refreshing and uplifting.   I am really hoping to get myself an iPod or something to that effect- I used to use a portable CD player, and now that is so out-of-date- but the biggest thing that I favor about a digital player is you do not have to stop every 30-40 minutes to change out a disk.  So I'm hoping that sometime soon, I will have a digital walking partner.  It seems that as much as I've tried, I cannot find a human walking partner that is consistent and dependable.  So I will just learn to enjoy being by myself for a change [ actually, I'm not alone, am I ? ], and go spelunking.

I Almost Feel Like Dancing
  I once heard an expression and a song that said "I'm not Religious- I just Love the Lord" and that's also how I'm feeling these days.   I am not really interested in anyone being impressed by my ceremony or religiosity.   It's all so fake and ordinary.   I just realize that there is One in Heaven who literally adores me as his child- and has adorned and blessed me with all of his many blessings- those that go with being a joint heir with his Son.. yes- Jesus!   This is so very out-of-the-ordinary-- extraordinary.  Real & Surreal.

   How can we go about our everyday lives and miss this one glorious fact.. that God Loves Me!..  this literally can transform someone like myself out of the doldrums and almost make me want to dance-  I said almost..  (!)


"“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... Casting all your cares on him, because he cares for you."   --Matthew 11:28;  I Peter 5:7.