Real & Surreal- It's How I Feel

  

It's not often that I feel this way.   I seem so full of emotion today.   I'm not one to like just jump for joy, or express my emotions with loud yells or screams, or hyperactivity.  But still-  it's there.   Sometimes I feel quite full of emotion- usually good ones.  Even though my feelings ebb and flow a lot, yet I seem to maintain a fairly balanced temperament and lifestyle.   I have finally been able to accept the fact that I am a somewhat melancholy person- one upside to this is that it seems to parlay into a creative side of me that I've never regretted.   Sometimes I just seem to lag and feel as if nothing will work out, and can get quite unmotivated, but those things seem to fade or pass after awhile.  

In The Heavenlies

   I often wonder just what it is that controls or influences our mental and emotional selves.  There's bound to be a "scientific" answer to that- I'm just not really looking for one.  I'm just curious, but I don't HAVE to have an answer.  I just know that we are pretty complex, marvellous creatures.  I'm glad to be alive, and have the capacity to be, and think, and love, and feel.  It's pretty awesome, when you stop to think about it.   And the guy in the TV commercial [Pepcid, I think it is] says, "It makes plenty of sense-- if you don't think about it."  HA!   I'm glad that most things DO make sense, but ALL of them don't HAVE to.  I can live with questions still unanswered. 

Me on a Recent Hike

    I feel an inner desire to start exploring again.  I want to meet as many new people as I can, while also hoping to reestablish old relationships with dear friends of the past.   I want to start walking again- not the round-the-block kind of walking, but the taking-off and not-caring-where-I'm-going kind of walking, the kind that leads me to meander and make unexpected twists and turns, the kind that is open-minded, the kind that I would take when I do not have any time that I have to be anywhere, or anything that I have to do.  I hope to have one of those three or four-hour walks again soon.  They are always so refreshing and uplifting.   I am really hoping to get myself an iPod or something to that effect- I used to use a portable CD player, and now that is so out-of-date- but the biggest thing that I favor about a digital player is you do not have to stop every 30-40 minutes to change out a disk.  So I'm hoping that sometime soon, I will have a digital walking partner.  It seems that as much as I've tried, I cannot find a human walking partner that is consistent and dependable.  So I will just learn to enjoy being by myself for a change [ actually, I'm not alone, am I ? ], and go spelunking.

I Almost Feel Like Dancing

  I once heard an expression and a song that said "I'm not Religious- I just Love the Lord" and that's also how I'm feeling these days.   I am not really interested in anyone being impressed by my ceremony or religiosity.   It's all so fake and ordinary.   I just realize that there is One in Heaven who literally adores me as his child- and has adorned and blessed me with all of his many blessings- those that go with being a joint heir with his Son.. yes- Jesus!   This is so very out-of-the-ordinary-- extraordinary.  Real & Surreal.

   How can we go about our everyday lives and miss this one glorious fact.. that God Loves Me!..  this literally can transform someone like myself out of the doldrums and almost make me want to dance-  I said almost..  (!)

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"“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... Casting all your cares on him, because he cares for you."   --Matthew 11:28;  I Peter 5:7.

 

Taking the Lid Off

  Today I set out quite lethargically to go about accomplishing my "to do" list.   Every day, there are a few things, some major, many minor, that I seek to get done by the end of the day.

 I'm so glad that God often has "other plans" for me.  I yearn for more of his interruptions to my daily plans.  And I yearn for a time when his plan is my plan, every single day.

 I enjoy videos on YouTube.  Like any part of the Internet, there is good and there is bad.  I know that some people don't believe in absolutes like that, but honestly, yes-- some things are preference and opinion, but then-- some things are just.. Bad.  And then, some are good- and great.

 This morning, I felt a bit of the energy and enthusiasm coming back, when watching a video called "The Keith Green Story."   Keith is an icon to many.   His music touched me deeply many years ago.  Then in the early 80's, a small plane in which he was a passenger went down and killed everyone on board.  I was devastated.  It was a big blow.   It is a breath of fresh air when you begin to understand that all that Keith wanted to be was a follower of Jesus.  Not a star, not an icon.  Just a regular guy who was sold out to God.

The lid of self covers up the love of God that is stored up in our hearts through faith.  He so lovingly came into our lives, and then we mess it all up by slowly wavering, moving, integrating our own "brand" of faith and truth into the wonderful person that Jesus Christ is.   We are told not to hide our light.   It is not just our mouths being closed that hides his Light.   It is our lives.

  The terms sometimes cloud the meaning. When I say lid, I am really saying "me." Help me get out of the way so you can be seen. Help me take the lid off.  Lord-- "less of me.. more of you."  John 15:5.

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"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."   2 Corinthians 4:7

The Present that is a True Gift of God

 I've often heard it said- "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."  Someone else said, "The past is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is the only cash that you have, so spend it wisely." 

 Slogans or quotes like that sometime become cliche, when they are repeated so often.  But isn't this really a truth that we should embrace and thank God for ?

  Matthew chapter 6 is an oft-read and quoted chapter in the Bible, where Jesus talked about the sparrows and the lilies of the field, and used their example of God's care to encourage us to have faith.  The sparrows do not worry.  The lilies of the field do not toil.   Our Heavenly Father takes care of them.

  Another truth that seems to be interwoven into this is that of our mortality and human condition.  We are told to "humble ourselves" and to "draw nigh to God". (James 4)   God talks about those in the world who are lifted up and given prominence.  Oftentimes this leads to their pride and fall.   God provides for our daily needs, he also promotes whomsoever he chooses. 

  Believers who know God is faithful should practice this truth on a daily basis.   "God is God, and I ain't him."   Acknowledge.  Trust.   Proverbs 3:5,6;   Philippians 4:6 & 7;   Mark 11:24;   Hebrews 11:6.  These are all good reminders of who God is, and who we are.  Let's be wise enough to put ourselves in the proper place.

  If we do this, we can face each day as if it is a Gift from God.  We will learn not to worry about the past, and not to fret about the future.  All of this is in his hands.  He is working everything out for our good, if we are following and trusting in him.

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"This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  -- Philippians 3:13,14

SET ME FREE- by Bob Wingate

All Rights Reserved / copyright 2006

Touch Me, Send a lightning bolt into my soul,

Oh Lord, Heal my spirit & make me whole.. again.. again

Ohh Lord, I’ve been building a cold stone heart

Not really letting you make a start

I’ve been content just to give you part..

of me.. of me

COME -- SET ME FREE

COME -- SET ME FREE

 

Distractions, on the left and on the right,

Through the day and into the night,

They cast a shadow and they keep your light

From shining.. on Me

CHORUS

Ohh Lord, send fire from heaven & let me see

You working miracles so deep in me,

And let me trust you now to set me free

To love you, totally.

CHORUS



Challenges & Blessings

  Today, as I walked down the street on the way somewhere, it began to occur to me (again!) how we take so many things for granted in our lives, and how we so often color the situations and circumstances of our lives through the lens of our past experiences.  We accept certain things, because we've always accepted them, and have disdain for others, because they are unfamiliar to us, or don't make sense at the time.

  Truth is like that.  Our lives are like a hodge-podge of inconsistencies and amalgamations of wisdom and folly, sense and nonsense.  Sometimes we go headlong into an emotional reaction without considering the context or meaning of it all.  And often we languish in this state for a much longer period of time than is necessary.

  Challenges.  Blessings.  Have you ever thought that perhaps on occasion these two terms, as it relates to our lives, may be synomynous ?   But we make them enemies and antitheses of

each other.  Life was never meant to be without its challenges, for they make us stronger and cause us to grow into the persons that we were meant to become.  Sometimes blessings come as a complete surprise, like a gift out of nowhere.  Then there are the times that blessings actually come out of a challenging time or situation.

  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  (James 1:2-4)

  There's something going on here.. a process.. that makes us something different than what we already are.  It happens when a kind and generous Father grants us the privilege of being taught by himself.

  I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  (Phil. 1:3-6)

  This is the backdrop for our challenges that we face in life, a beautiful tapestry of God's handiwork which will eventually result in a complete, mature person.   It is this perspective which will allow us to have -not happiness but-  joy in knowing that God is continuing to work within us to make us more like himself.

   [ PRAYER:  God, as we go through our daily routines and live our separate lives, let us always keep in our hearts and minds the realization that you are at work in all of your children's lives, and may we resolve to keep you first in our thoughts, and be joyful in the midst of life's challenges.  Amen. ]

  Selah.  Think on these things. =)

Enlightenment

[ this was originally written on Sat Aug. 17 ] 

  I had a bit of an enlightenment tonight. I went to a friend's place, not for enlightenment, but for food and entertainment.  But in the midst of it all, I was enlightened.  I began to see anew what being enlightened means.  It's not something that springs forth or that we muster or conjure up inside of ourselves.  Just the opposite.  It's a gift, something that we receive, as we realize that we actually lack it and need it.  We admit our need, reach out, and receive the truth about ourselves :: our heart is in need of the Light.  We are not the source of this light :: in fact, the darkness in ourselves is what PREVENTS the light from shining in our hearts.  We oftentimes live in the shadows of the darkness, and hide from God's glorious Light.  There is nothing wrong with the Light.  His Light is all-encompassing and complete.  It pierces our humble spirits.  It is only when we create and hide behind our barriers of pride that His Light is inhibited, for he will not go where he is not invited and welcomed by faith.     

[SCRIPTURES: James 4:6-10; Rom. 2:4; 2 Cor. 3:18, 4:4-7]

[PRAYER:  God, help me let go of the chains of darkness, and embrace Your Light.  Come and set me free.  May you be glorified in our spirits and our bodies, which are yours.  Amen.]